I feel this, so much. My husband and I purchased our home together almost 4 years ago. At the time, he was a college student and worked 25 hours a week at a pizza place. I was in graduate school but I worked full-time in my field. What I’m trying to say, is, we were able to buy a house because of income. Ever since we started the home buying process, his name comes first on everything and sometimes it’s only his name. They recently put in sidewalks on our street and on every plan of our neighborhood, our house was neatly labelled with his first initial and his last name — my initial and last name nowhere to be seen (we have different last names). I’ve been adamantly against combining finances primarily for emotional reasons. My first marriage was painful. I worked three jobs to support my voluntarily unemployed ex-husband. I’ve only recently begrudgingly agreed to one joint account for bills related to our home. But it doesn’t matter — because we’re married, he is the one who is addressed, it’s his name on everything. They don’t care that I keep my money in my own checking account.

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BA, MATC. Technical and business writer, adjunct instructor, usability nerd, extroverted-introvert, occasional poet, autodidact, Idaho native. @rachaelrenk.

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